Surviving my mid-life crisis
By
ALICE
BUCHANAN
Ariel
Enterprises
For the past three years, I've been going
through my mid-life crisis.
I didn't know it was a mid-life crisis, actually, but in
hindsight, I'm quite sure that's what it was.
A dead giveaway: It started as I
anticipated my 50th birthday. And I wasn't anticipating it the
way Oprah did, with thoughts of glory and plans for a lavishly
over-the-top party.
Here are the highlights of my mid-life crisis:
1. When I first came up against the early stages of my mid-life
crisis, right around that half-century mark, I had a miserable
time with depression over major events in my life ... actually
three long episodes of depression. One after "the breakup"; one
right after my marriage (to a different guy), when I realized
that I'd made yet "another terrible mistake" with my life; and
the third when I realized I was quickly running out of money
and none of my businesses was producing any income.
2. I took up hang-gliding.
3. I traveled to another country.
4. I went through about $30,000 plus $10,000 more in debt.
5. I tried many career choices on for size. Started businesses
and lost businesses.
6. I got married.
7. Quit my job.
8. Moved out of state.
9. Got unmarried.
10. Took up meditation and searched for spiritual meaning in my
life.
And where did that get me when my mid-life
crisis was over (and it damn well better be
over!)?
Answer: Better for it.
Question: Why?
Because life is all about learning, and I
hope that I have learned that the happy-go-lucky part of me,
the manic side of my depressive, should not be allowed to run
things. She's fun at parties and a ray of sunshine on a cloudy
day, but she isn't practical, knows nothing about business (has
lots of great ideas, though), and isn't terribly sensible about
money.
But beyond that, I learned a lot
about writing, and I wrote about a lot of new and different
subjects.
I've learned a little about a lot
of different careers and what I liked and didn't like about all
of them.
I've learned about risk and
reward, and I've weighed those two concepts many times. Whether
I've become better at making the right choices is another
thing. But owning up to the responsibility of the choices made
is an important aspect of growing up.
I wonder if this was a maturing
process that I never fully went through at some more
appropriate time in my life. Seems like I used to be more
responsible and practical, and that this was a time of letting
it all hang out, following my bliss and feeling like I was
indestructible.
Your own mid-life crisis?
For those on that road, I'd
like to say that following your bliss is a wonderful concept,
but there's more to it than meets the eye ... at least I found
that to be true in my case.
When I made these decisions to
quit my job and marry and move out of state, I was definitely
in a rut. I'm quite happy with the way things turned out, but I
also realize that this isn't "the end," that there is no "end,"
so the jury's still out on the total outcome. With time, I'll
have a better perspective on lessons learned.
In any case, perhaps I had to go
through some major upheaval to get past the rut I was in. Wish
I hadn't taken my life into such a drastic, unreasonable
journey. But I was absolutely convinced I couldn't
fail!
"Follow your bliss!" That's what
we're supposed to do to find our true life's work.
"What would you do if you knew
you couldn't fail?" That's the perspective we're supposed to
take when we're considering our options.
"The pictures in your head become
the stories in your life." That's the whole philosophy of the
Law of Attraction, the reason for writing affirmations every
day, for visualizing what you want your life to be.
And that's what I did. I pictured
myself succeeding ... at something ... but I didn't picture
myself succeeding at something specific.
So these were some of the lessons
I learned during my mid-life crisis. Here's to hoping your
mid-life crisis goes much more smoothly and you come out of it
in one piece, financially stable and emotionally
strong.
Peace.
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